Tree Huggers
by Sunshine My Love
Summary: The Death Eaters are up to something. But what?Three cheers for randomness!


Within a dark abandoned house, with the usual look of dust, cobwebs, and squeaky stairs a quite interesting conversation unfolded. This cues the guy with the blond hair and the devious thin bloke with a rather...uninviting face. Lucius, with white blond hair and a pretty black bow knocked at the door to Lord Voldemort's lair. 

"Um...Voldie?" cough cough, "Mr. Lord-you-know-who-sir?" Lucius whispered.

"Yess, yess...Lucy come in." A voice hissed through darkness.

"Well, me and my fellow Death Eaters..."

"My fellow Death Eaters and I, MY FELLOW DEATH EATERS AND I...DIDNT YOU ATTEND SCHOOL MALFOY?" roared Lord Voldemort.

"Um, yes, yes sir," quivered Lucius, "I have come to ask a certain question most of us do concern..."

"Yesss Lucy? Does it concern the Potter boy, because if it does then I have--" 

"No, actually it concerns us..." said Lucy. 

"US? US? Are you going to rebel against me then? Death Eaters... damn them... Cause i can certainly take you all down in a split second," Voldemort raged, "especially Nott that weak little--"

"No, NO sir assuredly, it has nothing to do with plotting against you and stripping you from all your powers, taking over the world without you, becoming the next most powerful wizard in the world next to Dumbledore of course, and so powerful, more powerful than you so that your name is forgotten. NO! Never. It's about our names sir, we were wondering--" 

"Yess...Lucy?"

"We were wondering if we could have more of a… hmm… not so damaging name, i mean, my Lord-sir-voldie-dark-one, we do have jobs and lives, and i really rather not have a grave saying Death Eater."

Voldemort wrinkled his slit nose. "Then what would you all like to be called Lucy?"

"Um, maybe something of the more lighter approach.. um.. maybe--."

"YOU SOUND LIKE WORMTAIL SPEAK DAMIT!" bellowed Voldemort.

"...the tree huggers" Lucius squeaked.

Not to far away we're some impatient Death Eaters eavesdropping at the entrance of Lord Voldemort's lair.

"Do you hear anything?" questioned Severus Snape, a tall black haired greasy man.

"NO, I believe I CAN'T with YOUR greasy head in the way YOU--" started Bellatrix, a considerably snappy woman with heavy-lidded eyes.

"Can't we all just get along guys, I mean it's been a long week, please?" said Nott sympathetically.

"OH SHUT UP NOTT YOU WEAK LITTLE---" Severus raised his fist.

"SHH! You're all making too much noise my husband is sparing his life for us!" said an annoying voiced snobby woman with white blonde hair called Narcissa.

"Oh puhlease girlfriend I spared more lifetime with the Voldie than you or him ever did..." said Peter, who obviously has no need for an excerpt about himself.

"grunt" went a man called Goyle.

"...what he said" said the man who stood by Goyle named Crabbe.

"Oh calm down Cissy you'll blow our cue. You are all way too---" started Severus before he was rudely interrupted by none other than---!

Voldemort opens door leaving men and women falling upon his feet... apparently.. listening at the door.

"Ahh.. I would expect this..." hissed Lord Voldie-poo

"Umm..." whispered Lucius lucky to still be in one piece.

"I expect you, Severus were the ring leader?" Voldemort nodded with disapproval.

"I of course, did you expect these gits to actually think of something besides--"

"Enough, enough no need to down your teammates Severus...Well I have come to conclusion that...well.. you may all be called... ugh the Tree Huggers..."

"WHOO!" screamed all the used-to-be-death-eaters down the corridor.

"Ohmygosshh I've got a fib idea for the robes!" exclaimed Peter yelping and jumping up and down.

Lucius sighed, "That was hard.."

"Not as easy as it will be in bed baaabyyyy", Narcissa commented in a ditzy voice.

"WHAT? that didn't even make sense? I'm disowning you in my will ... Damn blondes..." shouted Bellatrix.

"Oh.. and Bella dear?" Said Voldie turning to Bellatrix with a small smile across his face.

"Yes?" Bellatrix said now tuning all attention to her Lord.

"I need to have a word with youwink so obvious not even funny but it is funny therefore this comment isn't necessary" Voldie hissed. 

"Oh.. um.. yes..Mr.Voldiedarklordyouknowwhosir" Said Bella in a coughing smile

They walked towards the door in silence, and the last thing you see is that one long overgrown old hairy finger that slides behind the door.

"Oh...OH HOW SICK..." Severus stated.

"Ohh it's okay Sevy, I'm pretty sure Lucius won't mind if you come over and take notes...ahaha..." Narcissa giggled like those mad giggling girls do.

"Actually I will, I've got these three prats coming over.. all the seats are taken Severus I'm sorry..." said Lucius

" ...Oh heartbroken well um.. yeh.. you go along and have fun then..."

"Oh yes we will with my little snake in bed! ROAR!" giggled Narcissa again. like the looney loon she is.

"Snakes dont roar dear" said Lucius.

"They don't?", questioned Narcissa.

"...No... come you three" commanded Lucius.

"Grunt" said Goyle as he followed Lucius down the corridor.

"Yes, yes what he said" followed Crabbe .

"NO! NO guys! Wait up for me!" Said Nott, who finished tying his shoelace.

Severus left all alone

"...Why does this always happens to me! IM SO ALONE!" shouted Severus.

Several minutes passed by as his voice echoed down the dark emptiness of his shallow heart...eh..corridor.

"NU UH" said a random voice.

"HELLO? WHO'S THERE?" whispered Severus.

"OH JUST US" said another voice. This voice not so dark, but with a lighter tone to it.

Two dark shadows appeared from the end of the hall unable to be seen in the darkness from where i stand, but Severus could see fully.

"AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! I thought you were DEAD! And you.. AREN'T YOU MARRIED?" shouted Sevrus.

"Excuse moi.. We do not talk about that relationship to my sensitive ears singsongyvoiceLALALALALALAALA" started Sirius. A dark haired handsome man with beautiful gray eyes, who was entangled within a drapery. Why, the audience does not know, but I'm sure it involves some previous actions.

"Don't mention the Mrs. please--" said Remus, who was looking disheveled, tired, a bit groomed and partially balanced comapared to the other man. His brown hair greying, yet still he had the looks of a once young and handsome werewo--eh man.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE!" shouted Severus again escalating in the voice department.

"Well you looked...lonely" said Remus.

"Like you needed a friend" smiled Sirius .

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" yelled Severus still shocked.

"Gosh...it was just a fall. Geez I was clumsy I tripped okay?", started Sirius, "I ended up falling through a whole and finding some blonde woman who kept talking about some copyright law, and I belonged to her or something, and it was weird because people kept shouting out "JayKay.. JayKay", and "ROLLING ROLLING" to her; which I seriously didn't see her rolling or "just kidding". THEN some other woman started talking to me about how she was so 'SIRIUSLY SORRY AND SIRIUSLY IN LOVE AND DEVOTED' and people kept asking me for my bloody paw print and I'm just like, where the hell am I? and, whats going on? and I had all these thirteen year olds hitting on me.. siriusly awful. even for me... anyways I---"

"That's enough Sirius, we are here for something." Said Remus.

"Oh yeh... would you like to be our friend" Said Sirius. 

"OMG...SHUT...UP--" Severus began.

"Yes? Great! There you go Remus one good deeed for the day nowww can we gooo puhleaseee before Tonks gets back home? I've reaaaaly missed you"

"SIRIUS! NOT NOW!" whispered Remus. 

"Fine..." Said Sirius in his huffy puffy voice. 

"Well... I am quite lonely.. and i do need friends..." Said Severus now twiddling his thumbs together. 

"GREAT!" shouted Sirius

Remus crossed over to pull Severus from his dark huddled position in the corridor.

"Now hugs!" said Remus

"I love hugss!" Sirius said with his sarcastic bark laugh that belonged to Sirius.

Severus, though slightly puzzled, and displeased but hugs was quickly swept into the doggypile of love. 

"Okay we have to go now.." Started Remus who let go of Severus not to long after the hug.

"Huh?" Severus questioned.

"We said one good deed... jeez is that grease not only clogging up your pores but your ears too? Gossh, like get a towlet!" said Sirius pulling out a cleanser of his own.

"SIRIUS!" yelled Remus in objection. 

"But then im going to be all alone..." said Severus quietly.

"Shame.."

"Tis true...well bye then" said Remus walking off.

"WAIT!.. Oh damn.. they're gone..."

Fades into black out,music; "everybody hurts, everybody cries..."while we see tear drops rolling down Severus' face.. or WAIT! THAT'S GREASE! YUCK!

Oh wait! Who's that sneaking within the darkness or the corridor...?

"I had a vonnderful time Voldieeee" started Bellatrix in the darkness.

"No problem my little trixy."

"Oh i love it when you call me that."

"Shhh now you go, the others mustn't know about this."

"I suspect they already know."

"Oh well in that case..."


End file.
